PDA

View Full Version : More--Don't be a Wuss-----


AB195
01-13-2008, 08:26 PM
Guys, here a couple of others to look out for:

---you only eat steak on special occasions
---you no longer make fun of people less fortunate than you
---you creat a humorious answering machine message
---you bite you're lower lip on the dance floor when your really gettting down
---you find yourself saying OK more than you do saying yes or no
---you've got a NASCAR hat
---you use a pair of scissors to make the ribbon curl on a gift
---you've used the words "soul mates"
---you'll never be happy as long as people are starving in other countries
---you own a passport, but have never left the country
---you take your biggest risk on casual Friday
---you've never caught a fish...ever
---you leave a close baseball game in the 8'th to avoid traffic
---you always think about the "bathroom situation" before you leave on a trip
---you insist on being the thimble in Monopoly
---you collect ski-lift tickets on your jacket
---you apologize, before you absolutely have to
---you have to be drunk to express yourself
---you still read your high-school year book
---you can't go hiking without a bag of trail-mix
---you have an affair with a woman uglier than your wife
---you write letters to the editor
---you ask your wife weather you're fat
---you try to maintain a tan
---you go on a retreat of any kind
---you find youself saying "Hey, where did you guys go?" alot
---you've never ordered a large--anything
---you bring a guitar to a party
---you wear a bandana on the weekends
---you know all the words to "Dust in the Wind"
---you seriously consider getting into stand-up comedy
---you arrange the food on the plate before you bring it out to your buddies
---the only time you puke is when you have the flu
---a scrabble board is your turf
---you agonize over greeting-card selections
---you're an assistant--anything
---your OK with finishing 4th, so long as you get a trophy

I,'m sure they'll be more---------

AB195
01-31-2008, 12:46 AM
Got a couple more here---
just for laughs, you'all-- here goes a couple of others---

-A squirrel crossing the road causes you to swerve rather than speed up---
-You get religious every time your seriously ill---
-The only time you puke is when you have the flu---
-Red wine gives you a headache---
-Your a mime---
-Your a speed walker---
-You like soup---
-Your a tollbooth operater---
-You like tidying up---
-You own a bottle of Calamine lotion---
-You have a Therapist---
-You like Bono/Yanni/Dan Fogleburg---
-You have a stapler remover---
-You read fortune cookies---
-You have chronic fatigue syndrome---
-You say "tinkle"---
-You have foot deoderizers----
-Your shins hurt---
-You worry that the milk has gone bad---
-You listen to Richard Simmons, Ned Flanders, and Gallager---
-You have cold hands and feet---
-You have a doctor treat your shotgunwound---
-No one notices you---
-You say "stop that"---
-You Shhhhhh someone---
-You say "please"---
-You worry about not enough fiber in your diet---
-You stop at stop signs---
-You enjoy flossing---
-You like going to Six Flags Over Anywhere---
-You own "white-out"---
-Nobody has ever High-Five'd you---
-You have Scotchguard on your carpet---
-You worry about airbags hitting you in the face---
-You believe in Mankind---
-You worry about death---
-You keep a journal in the hopes that someone will read it---
-You really think you can make a difference---
-Your wife has 30 minute conversations with the wrong number---
-Your wife hires a gardener, but you live in an apartment---
-There's another guy at the dinner table---
-You have "while you were out" pads---