Post your favorite Obama joke, heres mine

[Edm]

How do you keep an Obama supporter from drowning??? Take your foot of his head............

Not funny, ok on a serious note, I have some horrible news to share, saw it on channel 2 news this morning. A whole bus load of Obama supporters went off a cliff last night in Pennsylvania........Whats so horrible you ask, well, there were two empty seats.....

[ocalasp76]

No explanation needed........
---JIM---

[Edm]

Ok not good enough, how about this,
Why doesnt Obama let his kids play in the sandbox?












Cause the cats keep burying them................

[al_tere_go_05]

2026

2027

[al_tere_go_05]

whats the difference between Obama and Osama?





One is a confident ethnic man with devoted supporters and a clear vision for the future and the other is about to be elected President.

[Fourhigh]

"KNOCK, KNOCK"

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"WHO'S THERE?"

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"EYES"

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"EYES WHO?"

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http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s99/Coreman_04/arrow-down-red.jpg

"EYES YO NEXT PRESIDENT"

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s99/Coreman_04/obama1.jpg

[Edm]

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.

My parents live in Fort Worth . One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville
and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at
Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview . She is a part time 'working girl'.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look
forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barack Obama for President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

[ovalracer44]

Not that I am voting for obama, but this whole thread illustrates the lack of intelligence in florida.

[ocalasp76]

Not that I am voting for obama, but this whole thread illustrates the lack of intelligence in florida.

DUH !!!!! THATS FLORI-DUH DUDE.....
---JIM-----

[roundtracker]

Is this as opposed to the lack of intelligence in South Carolina? At least here in Florida you still can't marry your sister!:aetsch013:

[Edm]

Now that is the funniest joke yet. Someone from South Carolina writing about the lack of intelligence in Florida. Thats a good one.

Read the headlines "COMICS CORNER" Sorry to get your hopes up dude from South Carolina but this is NOT an intellectual post. Check Cnn.com or foxnews.com for that kind of stuff.

[Edm]

My questions are this. Why would someone intellegent from Sc want to bring his racecar all the way to Florida to race with a bunch of dumb folks?
Why would someone smart from Sc come onto a message board with mostly Fl readers and insult people from Florida as a whole over what is being said/written in the "comics corner" part of the board?

I guess my dumb ass just doesnt get it.

[Edm]

Heres an intellectual one for you.... and yes I had to google it to make sure the spelling was correct.

[Fourhigh]

How to start each day with a positive outlook......

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it "Barack Obama"

3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

4. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of "Barack Obama"?

5. Firmly click "Yes".

7. Feel better?

GOOD! Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi!

[Edm]

then Al Sharpton, Jessie Jackson, Ted Kennedy, Hillary Clinton, and many more

[roundtracker]

Barrack Obama recently revealed that he can be old fashioned and still be a good democrat!
He says that he gives his daughters an allowance of one dollar a week, hence the old fashioned part.
He actually gives them five dollars but keeps four dollars for taxes, hence the good democrat part!

[ocalasp76]

Gettin' a ton of these every day.....Some are XXX rated.
---JIM----

[Edm]

Looking for Work

A Japanese doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'


A German doctor said, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'


A British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'


A Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, 'You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White House and now half the country is looking for work

[ocalasp76]

I really got to catch up on current events............Unemployment is now at 50% :sprachlos020: LOL
:rolleyes:--------JIM-------

[roundtracker]

I really got to catch up on current events............Unemployment is now at 50% :sprachlos020: LOL
:rolleyes:--------JIM-------

Yea Jim, that is while we have a republican in office. But (heaven forbid) Nobama gets elected the economy will be great again over night! And did you hear how Obama is going to fix the economy? He's going to Um Ah JERRY rig it!:)

[Edm]

Lol........

[photobug4001]

Houston, we have a problem
http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20080824/ARTICLE/808240349

* Republican legislator Scott Muschany was charged with molesting a 14-year old girl.

* Republican chief of staff Eric Feltner pleaded guilty to showing pornography to a 13-year old girl.

* Republican presidential campaign official Matthew Joseph Elliott was convicted of sexual exploitation of a child.

* Republican Party Chairman Donald Fleischman was charged with two counts of child enticement, two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a child and a single charge of exposing himself to a child.

* Republican prosecutor John David Roy Atchison was arrested for soliciting sex from a 5-year old girl, then killed himself three weeks later. At the time of his arrest, Atchison was an "assistant U.S. attorney" appointed by President Bush's attorney general.

* Republican city councilman John Bryan killed himself after police began investigating allegations that he had molested three girls, including two of his adopted daughters, ages 12 and 15.

* Republican legislator Ted Klaudt was charged with raping girls under the age of 16.

* Republican city councilman Joseph Monteleone Jr. was found guilty of fondling underage girls.

* Republican congressional aide Jeffrey Nielsen was arrested for having sex with a 14-year old boy.

* Republican County Commissioner Patrick Lee McGuire surrendered to police after allegedly molesting girls between the ages of 8 and 13.

* Republican prosecutor Larry Corrigan was arrested for soliciting sex from 13-year old girls.

* Republican Mayor Jeffrey Kyle Randall was sentenced to 275 days in jail for molesting two boys -- ages ten and 12 -- during a six-year period.

* Republican County Board Candidate Brent Schepp was charged with molesting a 14-year old girl and killed himself three days later.

* Republican Congressman Mark Foley abruptly resigned from Congress after "sexually explicit" emails surfaced showing him flirting with a 16-year old boy.

* Republican executive Randall Casseday of the conservative Washington Times newspaper pleaded guilty to soliciting sex from a 13-year old girl on the internet.

* Republican chairman of the Oregon Christian Coalition Lou Beres confessed to molesting a 13-year old girl.

* Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd pleaded guilty to charges of soliciting sex from an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.

* Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

* Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

* Republican petition drive manager Tom Randall pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 14, one of them the daughter of an associate in the petition business.

* Republican County Chairman Armando Tebano pleaded guilty to fondling a 14-year-old girl.

* Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls.

* Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker is a convicted child molester.

* Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

* Republican Mayor Tom Adams was arrested for distributing child pornography over the internet.

* Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.

* Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

* Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

* Republican Committeeman John R. Curtin was convicted of molesting an underage teenage boy and sentenced to serve six to 18 months in prison.

* Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

* Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.

* Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

* Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

* Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.

* Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

* Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

* Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was sentenced to six years in prison for molesting two 8-year old girls, one of whom appeared in an anti-Gore television commercial.

* Republican fundraiser Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

* Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

* Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.

* Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

* Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

* Republican campaign chairman Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child and was arrested again five years later on the same charge.

* Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

* Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

* Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer.

* Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

* Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

* Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. "Republican Marty"), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

* Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

* Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

* Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced prison after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

* Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.

* Republican anti-gay activist Earl "Butch" Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.

* Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

* Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.

* Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

* Republican legislator Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).

* Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was found guilty of molesting a 15-year old girl.

* Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.

* Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.

* Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.

* Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.

* Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.

* Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.

* Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.

* Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.

* Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.

* Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a "good military man" and "church goer," was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

* Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.

* Republican campaign worker, police officer and self-proclaimed reverend Steve Aiken was convicted of having sex with two underage girls.

* Republican director of the "Young Republican Federation" Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.

* Republican president of the New York City Housing Development Corp. Russell Harding pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer.

* Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was found guilty of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.

* Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld authorized the rape of children in Iraqi prisons in order to humiliate their parents into providing information about the anti-American insurgency. See excerpt of one prisoner's report here and his full report here.

"The crooks start protecting their own"

President Bush today commuted Scooter Libby's 30-year sentence for perjury and obstruction of justice:

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, pursuant to my powers under Article II, Section 2, of the Constitution, do hereby commute the prison terms imposed by the sentence upon the said Lewis Libby to expire immediately, leaving intact and in effect the two-year term of supervised release, with all its conditions, and all other components of the sentence.

Bush gave a statement elaborating on his reasoning:

Mr. Libby was sentenced to thirty months of prison, two years of probation, and a $250,000 fine. In making the sentencing decision, the district court rejected the advice of the probation office, which recommended a lesser sentence and the consideration of factors that could have led to a sentence of home confinement or probation.

I respect the jury's verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libby's sentence that required him to spend thirty months in prison.

My decision to commute his prison sentence leaves in place a harsh punishment for Mr. Libby. The reputation he gained through his years of public service and professional work in the legal community is forever damaged. His wife and young children have also suffered immensely. He will remain on probation. The significant fines imposed by the judge will remain in effect. The consequences of his felony conviction on his former life as a lawyer, public servant, and private citizen will be long-lasting.


William Frist -R. Tenn
William has been subpoenaed by the SEC and now faces three counts of criminal indictment for fraud and insider trading. Hold your breath and get reading to send some soap on a rope real soon


Jack Abramoff -R Lobbyist
Jack has plead guilty to three counts of conspiracy, honest-services mail fraud and tax evasion


Tom Delay -R Texas
Texas‘ highest criminal appeals court has agreed to consider prosecutors‘ appeal to reinstate a dropped conspiracy charge against former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay , further delaying his trial on felony money laundering and conspiracy counts.

A state district court judge later threw out one of two conspiracy charges and let stand the money laundering charge. Prosecutors asked the appeals court to reinstate the dropped conspiracy charge, a move that postponed trial proceedings on the remaining charges


Cunningham

Under the agreement, Cunningham acknowledged a conspiracy to commit bribery, mail and wire fraud and tax evasion. He also pleaded guilty to a separate tax evasion violation for failing to disclose income in 2004.

Prosecutors said Cunningham had taken bribes from contractors, which enabled him to buy a mansion, a suburban Washington condominium, a yacht and a Rolls Royce. A government statement said Cunningham received at least $2.4 million in bribes and will forfeit his $2.5 million mansion and about $1.8 million in cash, antiques, furnishings and other valuables. The charges carry a potential penalty of 10 years in prison and up to $350,000 in fines. Sentencing is scheduled for February 27.


Bob Ney R-Ohio
Bob will plead guilty to two counts: conspiracy and making false statements. Each charge carries a five-year mandatory penalty, but if Ney goes along with all requirements of the plea, the government has agreed to recommend to the court a sentence of 27 months, reports
Update 1-22-07
Former Republican Rep. Bob Ney was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison Friday for trading political favors for golf trips, campaign donations and other gifts in the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal.


Mark Foley -R. South Florida
Was busted with Internet sex talk with a teenager that was working a a US Page, the boy was 16 years old. Mark is not currently in jail but has resigned from office in shame 10/2006

[Boneman]

Q. What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A. Deductible.


Q. Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters

[Benny The Mule]

That's quite a list photobug 4001.................

Now do the Democrats list.

It all can't be one sided now...................

[ocalasp76]

So photobug, what you are saying is that we have a lot of perverts,crooks,thieves,and bad people in our 'government'. Tell us something we don't already know.
Sorry that you ran out of room in your post to include the possibly longer list of democrats and clergy. Guess it's no surprise to everyone that this is the usual election year entertainment we all look forward to.
-----JIM---- :ernaehrung004: :smilie_bett:

[Edm]

Hey Photobug,
Do you work for NBC, ABC, CBS or CNN? Just like all of the other liberal media its so freaking 1 sided that it isnt even funny. I wish I had the time to research all the crap the Democrats have done, starting with Ted Kennedy. The list would be twice as long as the one reported for the Republicans.
"Hey guys, lets all get together and vote for a coke head cause we want change"

The Liberal media is going to destroy this country.

[Todd McCreary]

wait, are you saying Ted Kennedy's list would be twice as long? hmmm, possible i suppose.

i'm impressed by Barney Frank. he solicited prostitution from a male escort who then ran an underage queer prostitution ring out of his basement and he stayed in office. chairman of the House Financial Services Committee right now.

[Edm]

HOW to SAVE the AIRLINES
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the heck -- they don't serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,

scroll down










Bill Clinton

[Fourhigh]

Obama Victory Dinner!



http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s99/Coreman_04/OVD2.jpg

[Fourhigh]

Here are two Democratic Superdelegates on their way to cast their vote for Nobama:

Democrats on a Escalator (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4XgKGUGKJo)